Friends, please join me in sharing some of the beauty of this week. While I know I still need some time to reflect and think things through there are some good highlights.
I’ve mentioned that one of the Priests I worked with in ages past often said, “We do not need new teaching, we need reminders.” And parallel and as important Niecy Nash would often say that “A hand that is open to give is open to receive.” How’s that for Spiritual Wisdom only half-way through my first cup of coffee on a Sunday morning.
Okay I just took an hour to responds to an email that is related to this post. But first. . .
I joined Jen Fulwiler’s Get Unstuck Club to work on, and get feedback on a video class I’m working on filming. Please allow me to back up for a moment. Just before going to teach at Quilt Festival in Houston I had this moment and made a call to say I’m not going to do this as a class, just as a presentation. Ooph. This at once hurt and not for nothing I felt something of a failure for not being able to follow through with this commitment. Admittedly I’m stuck in a place of ego – what I look like, what I sound like and the thought of becoming one more voice in a cacophony of voices just made me sad. I love quilters and not being able to interact with you and enter into the moment simply made me sad.
Back to Houston. The most profound moment came after one of my lectures, to which I arrived precisely on time. I have my friend Angie to thank for texting me asking me how my Lectures were going. Zoom! I was there in less than 7 minutes, set up and ready to go. Phew. Long time friend and talent in her own right Tracy Mooney attended this particular lecture, which helped. I was struggling with two things in this lecture 1) I was just far enough away from the attendees (thank you every single one of you!) that I could not hear the reaction and 2) because of the masks (I understand and I’m not complaining about this) I couldn’t see facial expressions. I mentioned this to Tracy, this whole feeling as though it didn’t go well and was immediately assured that not only were the quilters responding, one was, within a few seats of Tracy, taking furious notes. It was in this moment that I realized that while it’s lovely, I don’t need to see people responding to me. My greatest responsibility here is to do the work, and more importantly on video to be my self. Yes, yes I know this. Yes, yes, I get it. Be My Self. Earlier in the year when I filmed video what would happen on my end is becoming something of a dry, just the facts ma’am, kind of speaker, sort of I don’t want to say lifeless but rather lacking in the joy I experience in the doing of the quilting and teaching. There’s a little more to the whole Houston experience however, I’m going to hold onto that.
One of my friends offered to come help me Friday reset the room. We were able to move some stuff, get some other things ready to go, put away thread and a few other things. Monday morning I bound a quilt. I’ll give you a moment to pick your chin up off the floor. In the afternoon i filmed, edited and uploaded to C&T for feedback. I sent them video, tweaked a couple of things and resent. After a quick vid meeting with them allowing them to see my studio, lighting and give me a bit of direction I asked Angie to come back on Friday morning.
I knew Tuesday afternoon that my aggressive goal of getting this class filmed last week was blown, however the feedback I got from C&T meant that I had all I needed to really get going. Friday morning while watching Jen’s video and the replay of the meet up the evening before I had one more insight, I can turn the pressing station. Mind blown. Angie and I worked for nearly four hours, moving the Handi Quilter Moxie, turning the pressing station, hanging quilts.
Not for nothing I have a hard time asking people for help. I’m always willing to give it. Being on the receiving end is hard. Angie offered. I accepted. My room is now situated in a way that I can keep the tripod and the lights set up and do both the class and the other videos I’m working on without tripping over chairs and lights and whatnot. In helping me hang the quilts she was able to offer feedback on what quilt can go where for a really good visual. Some of you know my Sweetie and his background, I love him, I trust him and rely on him for so much. This is one of those projects wherein a good friend, a career coach or professional organizer is better suited. I shot a quick video, edited and sent it off to C&T and on a lark sent it off to Jen for feedback. I now have both and am ready to not only move through this and get this class up. I am going to set an aggressive schedule for getting the class to C&T and up.
Not for nothing I probably could have plowed through this before now, however I think in the long run this will end up being better. Just like learning to free motion quilt on a home sewing machine, just like learning to cut & piece, and learning to use the longarm with any skill at all this learning video and editing is a process. I love that I’m learning new skills. Before Houston and the Get Unstuck Club I would have been really upset that I didn’t meet my goals for the week in getting this class filmed. This week in different way I was able to roll with these things that seemed to delay the work because I KNEW I’d be getting feedback that will make a difference. Jen’s videos served as reminders that asking for help or accepting an offer for help is a good thing, in part because there are other people who have skills that, in my words, complement my own. That writing for twenty minutes a day (journaling with specific intent) can help us figure out that thing that in this moment has us stuck in not moving. That sometimes aiming for the ultimate thing is the wrong goal, sometimes we have to give just one more foot. There is a really good story behind this. That it’s important to state clearly what our needs are in this moment. And it’s essential to take time to think. There was a lot more. What I would encourage is when Jen offers the Get Unstuck Club again go ahead and sign up, go all in, set a goal for the week, even if time is limited by ____________________________ (insert thing here) and invest in what you’re doing.
This isn’t simply about being worthy of taking up space or thinking big, it’s about addressing some of those things that hold us back from fear and shame to a comment someone made about our previous work or just a need to take a nap. Watching the other people in the group, taking a few minutes to encourage them, and enjoying the stories of digging in, doing (or not doing) the work, having these moments where they recognized not only what’s going on and that there’s help and encouragement available to them.
While my goal was to finish getting the video for this class, I think ultimately my goal was to know that I am headed in the right direction and am set up to make this happen.
If you would take a moment: