So this morning I read this blog by Kathy Sebright. It once again spoke to my heart, deeply and profoundly. As Kathy mentions sometimes we don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes, so while we see one thing (someone’s put on weight) perhaps we’re missing something deeper going on. It’s hard to know.
As Generation Q Magazine we’ve had the No Quilt Bullies campaign for nearly as long as I’ve been with the magazine. Deep down, this is all about being kind, lifting one another up, taking into account that we don’t know the details. We don’t know, I don’t know what’s driving it.
You may know that I work at a quilt shop. Working with customers all day can sometimes be a bit challenging. I often know when I need to get off the floor because the internal dialogue changes from really wanting to help someone to something not so kind. Sometimes this has to do with hunger and sometimes well, not so much. I am a person, with feelings that sometime get overwhelmed. And I have a face that has a habit of revealing way too much. Sigh.
One thing I struggle with personally is that feeling that somehow I am less than. You know I’m worth-less. Your quilts, your art, your career, your blah, blah, blah is way better than mine. Life is somehow easier for you. Because you’re simply amazing and talented. In those moments the thoughts of quitting all of this come forward. They land right on my doorstep knocking loudly, demanding an acquiescence to their will that leave me exhausted. Thankfully I have some fabulous friends and a Sweetie who remind me that this isn’t the time to end this whole quilting career. Nope it’s time to continue moving forward. (I’ll get to share part of that forward movement soon!!!!)
Because I know the struggle, deeply. I get that having someone lift us up in a moment of struggle, panic, or self-doubt can make a huge change for the better. When I hear the words of self-doubt, beginners being so hard on themselves I try to stop it. “You are a smart, intelligent woman, and you can do this” are the words that pour forth from my mouth. The negativity stopped we can then talk, and problem solve. The quilter or sewer can then, hopefully, see and view their own worth. When there is great resistance to this, when someone wants me to do the work for them I can assure you this hurts, almost physically. Helping you see that you can do the very thing that you want me to do for you is my goal as a teacher. Helping you stand on your own two quilty legs is important to me. You are worth it. You are Sew Worth it.
Kind words go far. They lift up, encourage, nurture. They are the opposite of bullying, putting down, stepping on. Kind words soothe hearts wounded by meanness.
If we’re ever together when I’m really tired, or hungry and not being my kindest self, please feel free to offer that word of encouragement that I need. I’ll do my best to offer that to you.