You are a Smart, Intelligent woman, and you can do this

snow dyed radiance donnaSunday seems like a good day to blog right now. While there is a lot going on in life that I’m not quite ready to share or can’t share. Some things are just hard. Knowwhadimean?

So this morning I read this blog by Kathy Sebright. It once again spoke to my heart, deeply and profoundly. As Kathy mentions sometimes we don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes, so while we see one thing (someone’s put on weight) perhaps we’re missing something deeper going on. It’s hard to know.

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As Generation Q Magazine we’ve had the No Quilt Bullies campaign for nearly as long as I’ve been with the magazine. Deep down, this is all about being kind, lifting one another up, taking into account that we don’t know the details. We don’t know, I don’t know what’s driving it.

You may know that I work at a quilt shop. Working with customers all day can sometimes be a bit challenging. I often know when I need to get off the floor because the internal dialogue changes from really wanting to help someone to something not so kind. Sometimes this has to do with hunger and sometimes well, not so much. I am a person, with feelings that sometime get overwhelmed. And I have a face that has a habit of revealing way too much. Sigh.

One thing I struggle with personally is that feeling that somehow I am less than. You know I’m worth-less. Your quilts, your art, your career, your blah, blah, blah is way better than mine. Life is somehow easier for you. Because you’re simply amazing and talented. In those moments the thoughts of quitting all of this come forward. They land right on my doorstep knocking loudly, demanding an acquiescence to their will that leave me exhausted. Thankfully I have some fabulous friends and a Sweetie who remind me that this isn’t the time to end this whole quilting career. Nope it’s time to continue moving forward. (I’ll get to share part of that forward movement soon!!!!)

Because I know the struggle, deeply. I get that having someone lift us up in a moment of struggle, panic, or self-doubt can make a huge change for the better. When I hear the words of self-doubt, beginners being so hard on themselves I try to stop it. “You are a smart, intelligent woman, and you can do this” are the words that pour forth from my mouth. The negativity stopped we can then talk, and problem solve. The quilter or sewer can then, hopefully, see and view their own worth. When there is great resistance to this, when someone wants me to do the work for them I can assure you this hurts, almost physically. Helping you see that you can do the very thing that you want me to do for you is my goal as a teacher. Helping you stand on your own two quilty legs is important to me. You are worth it. You are Sew Worth it.

Kind words go far. They lift up, encourage, nurture. They are the opposite of bullying, putting down, stepping on. Kind words soothe hearts wounded by meanness.

If we’re ever together when I’m really tired, or hungry and not being my kindest self, please feel free to offer that word of encouragement that I need. I’ll do my best to offer that to you.

Happy Quilting!

Teri

11 thoughts on “You are a Smart, Intelligent woman, and you can do this

  1. A few months ago a wonderful gifted yoga instructor, Pedro Cabezas killed himself. He suffered profound depression and saw himself as so worthless he committed suicide. I had recommended the class he taught in my neighborhood to everyone I knew who practiced yoga. I know you Teri from Hartsdale Fabrics, you waited on me a few times. You are more than a blogger friend.

    1. I’m so sorry for your loss Lora, this is simply devastating.
      And thank you! I love being more than a blogger friend. This is such a gift.
      I want to assure you that, while I feel a bit lost, to quote Tolkein, “not all who wander are lost.” I’m more wandering, wondering what the next steps on this journey are.
      I’m so glad you took the time to comment today.
      Teri

  2. My dear friend. You made me believe I could survive, and survive well, when I was at my lowest. If ever I can do the same for you, I am here and ready. Love ya much.

  3. I just love this blog! I love my quilting and time with quilty friends…but often feel overwhelmed because there is so much I want to do and life gets in the way! As you know I have cancer and had a pretty serious episode in April. But back to quilting lifted me up. Hubby has Parkinson’s and mild Alzheimer’s and needs lots of attention….being a caretaker is not an easy job. I love watching all my quilty friends make so many beautiful things…I often wonder where they get the energy and how they plan their time so well. You are a very inspiring woman….keep on quilting…keep on blogging…oh and keep on smiling! Hugs to you my friend!

  4. I strive to be a positive person. Like everyone else I have had several hardships in my life but I have always told myself that sitting around and feeling sorry for myself accomplishes nothing but making myself miserable. Lately I am finding I have less and less patient with other people struggling with their difficulties. I just want to tell them to suck it up and get on with life. So now I am working on being a more caring person. There is a reason I choose not to deal with the public daily.

  5. It is so very easy to get drawn into just seeing what appears to be that “perfectly organized” person standing in front of us……but, WE are that person for her/him!!!!! Until we dare to be (appropriately) transparent, that ‘public persona’ is what is seen. I don’t mean to say that it is some kind of phony mask but merely how we appear when we’re out of our immediate life experiences. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that!!! We can’t be intimately involved in everyone’s lives but keeping our eyes and hearts open to those special ones whose paths we cross is our purpose here. To reach out with words (and hugs) and share a burden…or a joy…. is truly a blessed thing. We are all on this life journey together so let’s hold hands and dance a bit!!!!! Sending hugs, dear quilty bloggy friend!!!!! Wonderful post……..:-D

  6. Where can I get a nice big poster of the No Quilt Bullies image? Awesome. Every quilter has those times when we are quilt bullies to ourselves. Take some deep breaths, take a walk, have some wine, or chocolate, and don’t forget to be kind to yourself too. You are very talented and a wonderful lady. Wish I could hang out with you more often.

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