I’ve been thinking a lot about love lately. Not the warm, gushy kind of love but the kind of love that is an act of the will. In particular with people that are difficult. I’m realizing that when I can be patient, caring and concerned with people who are difficult to love then I’m headed in the right direction. I then make it possible for people to love me when I’m impatient, uncaring and unconcerned.
Love is one of those incredibly difficult “four letter words” that has so many nuances and is often under rated and cheapened by it’s frequent usage. I love this kind of chocolate or that brand of coffee. While they might be my personal favorites I really don’t love them. I enjoy them, they bring physical and therefore mental pleasure, but I really don’t love them. Not in the deep, human, sacrificial kind of love.
People are lovable in the truest sense. If I’m really honest most everybody is in some way lovable. There are folks that it is more difficult to love as a result of their actions or quirks that irritate the fire out of me, however their still lovable. (These might very well be the things that irritate me about myself. Hmmn, need to give that a bit of a think.)
There are people in my life that it is so easy to love. And there are others that are not quite so easy to love. I feel awful when I leave their presence because I am relieved and I can relax and not feel so tense. However I’m learning that being in the presence is like being a rock on the edge of the ocean, my hard jagged areas are slowly wearing away becoming a smooth stone or a grain of sand.
Embracing love, fully, more completely is never easy. Letting go of who I think I am for who I really truly am is a process of learning how to love more fully.
Off to think.